Leisure: Zoos

Hello you trendly party animals! We here at the Trendliest know that you're absolutely exhausted from your Memorial day weekend festivities. In fact, we've decided that from now on it's probably best you leave the horsing around to the horses, zebras, and unicorns. However, if you do feel the inclination to live vicariously through animals that know how to get down, there's no trendlier place to visit than the Zoo."Where'd This Fence Thing Come From?"

Yes, ever since land developers began putting up fences and accidentally blocking rare animals from escaping from small expanses close to their homes, zoos have been a hot spot for both family and adult entertainment alike, as well as serving as a valuable learning environment for the potentially criminally inclined. Zoos not only provide bestiality enthusiasts an ideal environment for getting off on watching caged helpless arthropods yearn for freedom from the insides of their relatively miniature enclosures, they also provides parents with an ideal setting to teach their mischievous children valuable lessons about the harsh realities of incarceration by showing them an entire family of tigers living in an expanse one thousandth the size of their natural habitat.

A Dejected Family of Tigers After Their latest Escape Plot is Thwarted

However, there's more to Zoos than their ability to exhibit the repressive powers of fences; many visitors also get the invaluable experience of observing artificial environments undisturbed by their animal inhabitants who prefer to sleep in their man made caves away from the crowds. Imagine the thrill of being able to view a rock formation where a Kodiak bear will decide to sit once the zoo closes and the spectators have left.

While some animals shy away from the parental paparazzi eager to teach their children of the wonders of nature, others relish the limelight displaying their knack for frequent defecation and sexual desire. Monkeys are particularly adept at both, pairing them with their athletic penchant for projecting the results of both activities towards a fascinated crowd.

And they got...it...on

Yes trendly boys and girls, the zoo provides potential visitors with plenty of activity beyond their wildest expectations...and it sure beats sitting at home on your couch and watching that BBC Planet Earth show. After all, the trendliest way to experience nature is being right there in the thick of it.